To the Homeland and Back

On my way back to Kansas City from my 9 day visit to my homeland of California to see my family and very cherished cousin Chris get married. I must agree with Meredith (another leadtime young lady), that of all the airports I’ve been to (twelve total) the Minneapolis/St.Paul is a winner! Very homey, clean, fresh, lots of eateries, and the bathrooms are right next to the gate! Anyway, for those of you who would like to know how the break was..

The wedding was the kickoff for the break, it was an outdoor event at a lovely golf course/country club amidst what looked like the seirra mountains, but was really Auburn, CA. For November they were blessed with clear skies and bright sunshine. The ceremony was not too long, not too short, and air was filled with excitement, anticipation, and a mixture of emotions from family and friends. It was really good to see  him looking so happy, not only to get married to Kellie, whom he’s dated for seven years, but to see all of his friends and family together. He’s one of the nicest, funniest, people I know and it seems like yesterday we were pushing the make-shift go-cart up our grandfather’s hill so we could ride it down, over and over again. I wish I had those thighs I had then!

The rest of the week was filled with catching up with as many friends as possible, including those at Mount Hermon, Gavilan College, South County Animal Hospital (former employer) and San Luis Obispo. P.S. If you were in those places and I didn’t see you please forgive me...

One of the things, of many, that stuck out the most to me during my time...was the beauty of where I’m from. Especially, the hills! I love hills surrounding the south valley! They were a rich green color due to the recent rains and what’s great about hills is that they really give you a sense of God’s amazing artistry. Having not seen them for two months I found myself stopping in my tracks and just staring in awe and the rolling hills. It makes me wonder why people don’t realize the reason why nature is so powerful and beautfiul to us is because God created us and the earth for us to care for and to enjoy. That’s my little schpeel on that topic. 

I felt really loved this break. The time I spent with my friends was a testament in God’s faithfullness and goodness. He knows our needs, He knows our heart’s desire and what fills us with joy...and praise Him because He provides. This last summer was a rough summer for me. I felt spiritually dry and at a point where all I could depend on was the grace and strength of God to keep me going. And being in a leadership position where others depended on ME to encourage them spiritually made it even more difficult. The verse that I clung to was 2 Cor 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. After I made the decision to take a step of faith and come to Missouri I experienced the fruit of being obedient. The moment I arrived I knew that God wanted me here. A crowd of young women greeted me with excited, beautiful, fresh smiling faces and they proceeded to usher me into their lives, accepting me as a sister despite how overwhelmed I probably looked. A dear friend that I visited at Mount Hermon this past Tuesday pullled me aside and said, “Jenn, you’re burden has been lifted. You are much lighter, I can see it, you are doing very  well.” Hearing these words was so incredible! Oh what God has done in a matter of months! As a Christian, I truely believe that we are happiest when we are seeking to please and serve Jesus Christ and we act in accordance to His will. I have the experience to prove it. 

David Crowder Band sings a song that has been speaking to my heart that, these are the lyrics:

He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy, when all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me

 Oh how He loves us Oh , oh how He loves us, how he loves us oh....yea he loves us oh how he loves us oh how he loves us oh how he loves

I didn’t understand the part in the song where he sings about being a tree bending beneath the weight and wind of mercy until now. Any feelings of fear, of uncertainty, of worthlessness that I may have had in the months prior to this experience have been overshadowed but the goodness that is overflowing from a God that gives a peace that transcends understanding.

I’m looking forward to creating more memories and seeing God continue to do mighty things in my Shelterwood/Leadtime family. 

Thank you to my loving parents who provided a the means to come home and have such a great time with them and my friends. I feel so rich!!

Thank you to all who continue to pray for me and the lives of the girls here in Missouri, your prayers are being answered :)

Revolution and Redemption

Hello again!

So the exhaustion from all the activity has finally caught up with me! I was avoiding getting sick despite my contact with sick girls for about a week and now I am stuck in my room on my day off with a headache, coughing, sneezing, and general fatigue. Thankfully, I'm still coherent enough (I guess you'll have to be the judge of that too) to jot down some thoughts and reflect on my week thus far.

First, I want to say thank you to all who are reading and sending encouraging words :) It's been challenging to keep perspective on my purpose here so any communication from the "outside" is really nice. 

As I mentioned in my last blog, I'm not sure yet why God has brought me here, but one thing is for sure, I think I'm becoming a better potential parent (if I get the chance to be one) as well as a wife. My relationships with the other Leadtime girls (which sometimes feel like how I might relate to a husband, in terms of communication that is:) have been amazing and such an answer to my prayers...the teens however, have been slow to warm up and at times hostile in our attempts to connect with them. But then just last night, I took some girls to an ACT prep class (which is REALLY boring I might add) and it would make sense for them to have bad attitudes but instead, on the way back to the house God blessed us with laughter and good conversation. It was really encouraging. 

THEN....I get back to the house and it is in an UProar. Some of the girls were upset that they had to have study hall and decided to revolt :) Which looks like a lot of back talk, yelling, crying, and general tension.  I was sooo exhausted and weak that I didn't have the energy to be too affected by the amount of tension that I was able to stay calm and talk in my "non-threatening voice".  Later that night one of the more distant girls shared some hard stuff with me and the evening was redeemed!!!! God is so amazing, He uses hard situations for good and I feel so blessed to be a part of that. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" 2 Cor: 9

"And we know that ALL things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28

My prayer request right now is that God would continue to keep us Leadtime girls unified and areas where we could be stronger are illuminated, despite the pain that may involve. And for the girls, that they would be open to Christ's healing power. There is much healing that is needed here.

Love to all on the 'outside' :)

j

Begin at the beginning...

Where to begin?

I can't believe that it's only been three weeks since arriving here in Missouri with only two bags to account for a year long stay.  It feels like it's been months. 

For those of you who don't know...the decision to come to Missouri was quite the roller coaster ride. I was planning on going to seminary in the beginning of the summer.  God had other plans, intervening and giving me nothing but unrest until I decided to go.  

So here I am, in Independence, Missouri, a long way from home, still a bit unsure why God has brought me here, but have complete peace that I am. Praise God, the peace is so worth all the worries that can come with doing something that doesn't make sense in our culture today.

It's been quite the transition, going from summer at Mount Hermon being able to make my own schedule, to having every hour planned from 7:30 in the morning to 10:30 at night. I never thought that I would consider getting up at 8am as "sleeping in".  One thing is for sure, I'm learning how lazy and selfish I really am, it's a humbling thing.

So what has happened in the last three weeks?? 

I guess I should start by what an average day looks like:

6:00am get up and take shower

7:30 check on girls and their chores

8:00 walk to the dining hall and eat breakfast

8:30 walk to the girls to the schoolhouse

9:10 leadtime classes (sharing lifestories, discipleship, counseling, bible study)

12:30 eat lunch with the girls and staff

1:00 walk girls back to school house

break (unless we have kitchen duty)

2:30 planning meeting for the day

3:00 girls arrive back from school

3-6 could be anything from: help girls work off consequences, take girls to doctors appts, make dinner, hang out with them in the house, etc)

6:00 dinner

7:00 come back to house (depending on day: may go out with the whole house, the room, or just hang out some more)

8:00 monitor study hall

9:00 just be there :) 

10:00-10:30 spent quality time with the girls that we room with

10:30+ lights out: if not on night duty (checking on the girls every 15 min) spend time with the other leadtime girls or guys

So that is a basic day...there are lots more other things that we do...including a lot of physical work, cleaning, chores, giving meds, being goofy, playing dance dance revolution, playing scavenger hunts, seeing baseball games, making music videos, going to the zoo, learning the guitar, soaking up free time at a coffee shop, meeting with mentors, driving to QT for sodas, going to church, praying, and much much more!!!

God is Faithfull!! 

Things God has taught me so far:

1. I collect WAY too much STUFF....my dad said "Jenn I think you have more stuff than I do" as he was so kindly moving my things from one place to another

2. How to rest in Him, despite not having a lot of time to

3. Love requires obedience and action

   

4. "God does not ask us to do things that are easy to us naturally; He only asks us to do things 

    that we are perfectly fitted to do by His grace, and the cross will come along that   line always."   - Oswald Chambers 

There is so much more that I've learned....that will come soon! 

If you can pray for the girls here, there is a lot of healing that is needed. They've been through everything from abortion to drugs to anger and depression.

There is a spiritual battle going on here, praise God He is victorious, but pray that He will protect us from any forces outside of His love.

I feel very rich and blessed with the friends that I have and have made here. 

Til next blog :)

God Bless